Nemash Patel on Divorce, Depression and Fatherhood
He stayed in a dying marriage for his sons, then found his way out through a GP visit and the gym
Nemash spent four or five years in a marriage that had already ended in every way but name, going home each evening to a house with no conversation and showing nothing to the outside world.
He lives in Harrow with his parents, rebuilding life post-divorce, and is father to two sons. When his GP offered him a prescription for antidepressants, he turned it down and started going to the gym instead, rebuilding his eating and giving himself something other than the marriage to think about.
He credits his brother and a small group of close friends for getting him through the years before his separation, and says the same instinct now drives his work with The Dad Project, the men's mental health platform he co-founded with Naroop Jhooti. "It's not enough not to do nothing," he says. "You have to do something." Nemash is Co-Founder of The Dad Project.
Quotes
"I'd cry every day, usually in the shower, because it's the only place that nobody sees your tears."
This Episode Is About
Nemash Patel spent four years in a marriage he knew was ending before he said so out loud, staying for his two sons while hiding the weight of it from everyone around him.
He talks with Naroop Jhooti about the guilt of co-parenting, the GP visit where he turned down antidepressants, and the gym routine that became his way through depression.
The conversation moves from the private cost of holding a family together to how that period shaped his role as co-founder of The Dad Project.
Who This Episode Is For
- Single fathers rebuilding life after divorce
- Men who stayed in a marriage for their kids
- Anyone carrying guilt around co-parenting time
- Men weighing up therapy or medication for the first time
- Fathers of colour navigating stigma around asking for help
What You'll Takeaway
- Depression can hide behind a normal working life for years
- Turning down medication doesn't mean turning down help
- Physical routine can rebuild mental stability after loss
- Guilt around co-parenting time eases with a clear routine
- Children notice a parent's self-care more than they let on
- Helping others can become a way of processing your own pain
- Confidence returns when you stop carrying a story alone
