Idris Elba's Private Chef on Grief, Fear and Becoming King
The chef who buried his father at fifteen and cooked his way to Idris Elba's wedding table
King grew up in a Nigerian household in London where cooking was tradition rather than trade, something his father did only a couple of times in his life. He buried his father at fifteen, then spent years finding his footing again, dropping out of an engineering degree, working as a London Underground train driver, and once nodding off at the controls from exhaustion.
A chance introduction in an airport departure lounge in 2018 changed the direction of his life. He met a chef he admired, found out they were on the same flight, and within weeks was cooking for Idris Elba. Months later Elba and his wife Sabrina asked King to cater part of their wedding in Morocco, in front of two hundred and fifty guests and a Vogue crew. As he puts it on this episode, "Ego will get you in a room. Who you are will keep you in that room."
King now runs his own private chef practice alongside Amaka, his supper club and live event collective, including the Smoke and Soul barbecue series, with plans to take both beyond London. He talks about stepping back from the pace of it all at fifty, a stage of life he has started calling his turn.
Quotes
"You can't be seen to cry. You can't be seen to show emotion. You're the man in the house."
This Episode Is About
King, private chef to Idris Elba, sits down with The Dad Project host Naroop Jhooti to talk about the year his father died and the rules he was handed about what a man is allowed to feel.
He traces a path that runs through a funeral at fifteen, a stretch driving trains on the London Underground, and a chance meeting in an airport lounge that led to cooking for one of the world's biggest actors.
The conversation turns on grief, imposter syndrome and the difference between confidence and ego, and on what it actually means to be called the man of the house.
Who This Episode Is For
- Men who lost a parent young and never fully processed it
- Black and Nigerian men navigating family expectation and grief
- Anyone rebuilding a career after several false starts
- Men who were told to be strong instead of being asked how they felt
What You'll Takeaway
- Imposter syndrome just means you haven't done it yet
- Being told not to cry as a teen shapes decades of behaviour
- Quiet confidence beats arrogance every time
- Ego gets you in the room, character keeps you there
- Giving equity away too early can cost a founder dearly
- Vulnerability is strength, not weakness
- Self love starts with forgiving your younger self
