Amo Raju OBE on Disability, Marriage, and Thirty Years of Hidden Depression
Born disabled, married against caste and family objection, and CEO for thirty years while hiding severe depression
Amo Raju was born with a disability in the late 1960s, the first child of parents who had just arrived in the UK from Punjab. He grew up in a household where conversations about him happened in another room, in another language, while he sat and listened. At eight years old, he overheard three aunties tell his mother it was a shame no father would give his daughter to a man like him. That comment stayed with him for a decade.
At seventeen, he cried for four hours straight and woke up the next morning feeling lighter, and decided to stop letting other people's reactions shape his life. He went on to run the charity Disability Direct as chief executive for thirty years, growing it from four staff to over a hundred, and eloped with his wife against family objections over caste and disability. Her parents did not accept him for twenty five years.
In 2024 he received an OBE from Princess Anne for his work in disability equality. He also raises funds to donate wheelchairs to disabled people in Punjab, India, where he has helped provide more than 650 wheelchairs and handbikes so far. "Disability is in the eye of the beholder," he says. He stepped down as CEO of Disability Direct in September 2024 and now mentors CEOs and speaks across the UK.
Quotes
"If the good Lord has made you disabled, if the good Lord has given you this purpose on life, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Go out there and become king of disabled people. Go out there and be the person that they need you to be for them."
This Episode Is About
Amo Raju talks about growing up disabled in a Punjabi household where his condition was discussed by other people, never with him.
He describes the four hour crying episode at seventeen that changed how he saw himself, eloping with his wife against family objection, and the twenty five years it took her parents to accept him.
He also opens up about thirty years of depression he hid from everyone, including his wife, while running a disability charity and later receiving an OBE.
Who This Episode Is For
- Men who have hidden mental health struggles from people closest to them
- Men navigating disability and how others react to it
- Men of colour managing pressure from family and wider expectations
- Men who married against family approval
- Anyone who has felt like their feelings don't count in family decisions
What You'll Takeaway
- A four hour cry at seventeen changed everything
- Success doesn't remove the fear of losing it
- Silence can last decades even in a strong marriage
- Disability lives in other people's reactions, not the person
- Real acceptance can take twenty five years, or never come
- Not making eye contact with a therapist still counts as talking
- Wearing a mask for others gets exhausting
